Internal Dialogue: Mental Time Travel
The Rate of Inner Speech was a research study back in the 90’s that found the speed of “elliptical inner speech” measures at about 4,000 words per minute! In Ethan Kross’s new book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, he comparatively underlines that an average presidential State of the Union address is about 6,000 words and runs about an hour. Think about that! The amount of inner dialogue in the mind is truly astonishing.
Chatter is a great read and I appreciate the solution oriented focus. There are several tips in the book and on his website (see below). Kross does a terrific job of explaining how to harness the mental chatter we all have and exemplifies this powerful element of the mind.
I have long worked with clients regarding their inner messaging and how to redirect negative inner dialogue. Below are a couple of tools to utilize when you are struggling with your internal voice.
Future Tripping - Be in the Now
I first became aware of the term “future tripping” from my step-son when he was a teenager. I’m sure it was during a conversation where his Dad and I were probably stressing to him the importance of his future and he asked us why we always “future trip.” Being a parent of a teen at the time we probably went down some road emphasizing how critical it is to be prepared, blah, blah, blah. And of course, in truth, it is important to be prepared, but his comment opened up a new avenue for me. Why do we spend so much time in anxious states thinking about future events we often have no control over?
So I now utilize this term with clients who are perseverating on future situations. I always honor it is important to think about the future, but past a point of planning, when we find the thoughts are anxiety producing, we must bring ourselves back to the current moment. The current moment is the only time-space reality we have any true control in.
Distanced Self Talk - Coaching
Kross goes into the scientific research and basis for distanced self talk in his book Chatter. When teaching clients this tool, I often refer to it as coaching. An important element of this coaching is to enact the third party reference. For instance, you find yourself in a panicked state or overwhelmed. You conjure up the image of a kind internal coach, teacher, parent, or friend and then you use your own name to talk to yourself. “Jen, you got this. It seems overwhelming right now, but just start with one step. Come on Jen, you can do this.” When we create internal distance using language, sometimes the current situation feels a little less daunting.
Time Travel - Zoom out
This last tool is really two different tools, both using the imagination of time travel in your life. Sometimes helping clients who struggle to make decisions or let go of things, I will ask them to check in with their 5-year-old self and their 80-year-old self. From the perspective of childhood and old age, we can offer ourselves a different insight. Our values from those time periods in our lives can be clearer.
Kross uses the idea of time travel for the concept of zooming out, almost the beneficial side of a future trip. Kross explains that if you are up in the middle of the night, it is helpful to time travel to the next morning…is the issue as bad when you imagine handling it with coffee in hand and feeling more awake? Does it help to go even further out to a week after this issue is over? What is your perspective then? How about if you go an entire year zoomed out? Is the issue more minimized? Allowing our mind to imagine the benefit of time for an issue we are currently dealing with can significantly reduce our anxiety.
All these tools and tricks are part of harassing the power of the mind. It is really beneficial to know we have some control of where our minds roam.